Wednesday, I was driving to work. It was a cloud, dreary day, but the clouds were almost striped across the sky. In between the dark puffiness, there were moments of brilliant blue sky. As I drove, I would literally get to drive through stripes of rain, stripes of clouds, and a few bright moments of actual sunshine. Beautiful.
That got me thinking about this pregnancy. I wish, more than anything, I could enjoy pregnancy, be one with the Earth, etc. Mostly I just pray that September gets here quickly. But there are moments of sunshine, and those moments get me through.
Had one of those moments today. Between Dr's appointments (WHY do they need so much of my blood!?) and work, I stopped by home for a few minutes to rest and try to drink some fluids. And I felt really really really alone. Everyone around me is excited for my pregnancy. Everyone around me feels great. I feel a little bit like I'm being watched from afar...I get pity, but not many people have actually been here, and know what it's like to feel awful 24/7, alone and isolated.
Then it hit me. This is one of the few times in my life that I am never alone. I have a little person in there, surviving the same things I'm surviving. If he/she can make it through this, I can too. It's not going to be easy or pretty (although I prefer when I know what to expect and when to expect it!), but we'll make it through together. Just like Levi and I did.
So there's some moments of sunshine between the clouds. I just have to learn to embrace those moments.
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